The title of How to lose friends and alienate people is a parody in itself. So while taking some liberty with the name, I think it sums up my week nicely after the more serious posts. 

Instead of a biographic recount, who knew I would be so caught up with the current affairs while taking a mental health day. Co-incidentally, my friend M was also off due to an injury. M told me that one day a customer claimed how cool and chill she was as a worker in the store and asked if she wanted to hang out. In an effort to broaden her social circles, M went out and had fun with New Girl and her friends. Later after exchanging Snapchats, M got a message along the lines of “it was great fun. Let’s hang out sometime soon”. If I didn’t know any better, it sounded like a dating line. Also the underwear pics didn’t help…

Anyway, life happened and M forgot to reply and didn’t get to it until a few days after explaining how things came up unexpectedly. New Girl was not impressed and told M to take friendships and by extension relationships more seriously. Followed by a passive aggressive “u do u”. 

I’ve known M for roughly 12 years and it’s taken me only until this year for us to be in semi regular contact. We both have a lot of stuff that happens in life, her more so than me. So 4 days without a reply? Pfft. 

Breaking a her PB, M managed to make a friend, lose that friend and be alienated by that former friend in less than a month. So besides not responding to a message, there are other ways to lose your friends and alienate people if you’re so inclined.

Retreat from your social circles

This one should be self explanatory. Really it is. Never has it been more easy to squirrel away and literally block out friends and family, intentional or not. Everything is online or requires a phone these days and by ignoring it, you’re damn well going to avoid your mates. Currently another friend intentionally avoids social media and to a limited extent his social circle. Granted it is so he can focus on his goals and priorities at the moment. 

Have a baby

I joke that I am in need of a new set of friends but it’s fast becoming a reality. Case in point:

  • One of my friend and his wife gave birth to a baby boy last week. 
  • Another friend gave birth to a baby girl back in May.
  • My friends who formerly ran Gin Fridays at their house are 3 months pregnant.  

And I’m betting that two more friends might try for a child next year. As soon as they are with child, all the attention focuses on them which is to be only natural and expected. PaReNtInG LiFe. But there’s no escaping my feelings of being cut off from my friends when it happens. 

Enjoying your own company (too much)

There’s independence and there’s also getting so caught up in your own life by being so self reliant that you don’t need others to function. I always wonder what type of people would fall into this category. Bossy? Driven? High maintenance? Egoistical? I love me some alone time but not that much to neglect my friends and family.  

Anyway, these are all tongue in cheek. Losing friends and alienating people can be mutually exclusive but personally isn’t something you should be doing without good reason. Without question though, method number 2 is fast on my horizon. 

A very blurry peace out!

So how does one meet and find new friends in this day and age? Finding people online who share my interests? Join a sub-reddit forum? Go back to the pen pal era?