KINSIDE OUT -

Making a Return

On 01/05/2022

In Life, Personal, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Making a return? Well, in a sense, yes.

Me in a nutshell: passionate one moment and abandonment the next. That’s how I felt about this blog. What initially started as a personal project of mine, I wrote eagerly and it quickly consumed me. I have to admit that it is my trait that I tend to yo-yo. I felt the rush of a self imposed weekly deadline (however ridiculous that sounds) for no logical explanation. Where I last left off was 2020, almost a lifetime ago if I wanted to be dramatic. Although in the digital world, it really would be many lifetimes ago. I had originally decided to take a break, a pause, in posting content (such an unflattering word along with influencer). A month turned into two, then oozed into a leisurely 17 months. I vowed I would return soon but it became easier to neglect this online space I started.

Deadlines I self imposed was mainly why I felt that way. The blog masqueraded itself as a job. I was playing the amateur journalist who one day hopes to be published with a few bestsellers under his belt. I’m none of those things and I’m not trying to be. I’m not writing for a newspaper or a publication so, why did it matter?

In short, it doesn’t. I’m not a professional content creator, influencer or spokesperson. It doesn’t matter if I disappeared, frankly no one would care (I promise it is not a cry for help). What I mean is that this is still just a diary of my thoughts whether I post weekly or erratically.

I was essentially stuck for words

Stuck for words would fall under and being stuck in a rut which in itself is a well documented phenomenon. Research papers, health line organisations and even publications like Forbes have covered this. Ironically, I even contemplated on writing about being stuck but what value was that going to add? None.

So I’m making a return back to writing as I do enjoy the lengthy process of putting thought to words.

Words connect the author to the reader. Certainly particular styles of writing resonate differently with others. It’s true that I’m no author nor have many readers, but I seemed to have also reconnected with people I had not spoken with for a very very long time. I’m sure by no means an accident they came across my little patch of internet, but still, I’m grateful for it.

Writing, in the traditional sense, is a form of lost art. Writing is a skill after all. I remember fondly the giddy anticipation and joy of reading long emails when I first travelled in order to get updates from my friend back home. I would read and re-read them knowing it could be days or weeks before I would get another email after I replied. Writing is so pared down now. As I’m typing this sentence, I’ve had to stop and dig into settings to turn off predictive typing, auto correction and word suggestions. With everything so ‘smart’ and instant, sending a quick message requires no deliberation or careful choice of words.

I must have said before that when I was much younger, I wanted to be a writer (back in my studious and possibly much more passionate phase). Whether an 11 year old should be trusted on correctly identifying and subsequently committing to a career choice is a completely separate issue. Maybe one day this may blossom into my meant-to-be profession. After all, stranger things have happened. All that was to say this space hasn’t flatlined and I’m making a return to posting my ramblings.

Hostel Life: Chapter 2

By Chris C

On 14/11/2020

In Personal, Thoughts, Travel

I adamantly believe in going with the flow as you may have guessed. Life is unexpected and you just have to take it as it comes. Between entering the bathroom and finding someone naked in front of the sink and a girl trying to “gracefully” walk between her room and to the bathroom in nothing but a towel, just prepare for the unexpected. Especially true for for hostel life chapter 2.

What was expected is that hostels at this time are not filled (yet). I’ve already encountered Melburnian hoards and their pent up need to getaway. What I didn’t account for was the lack of people I could recruit to head to the pub for a drink. Or you know, a myriad of non alcoholic activities. This meant I was braving the town and drinking by myself. Still getting use to my own company and my self consciousness.

A pint at The Stump aka The Caledonian Inn

Remember my love for watching Escape to the Country? Well, I was ecstatic when I came across Cotsworld like cottages and similar country aesthetics in Port Fairy. There is a mix of old and modern. But a tasteful modern that is sympathetic to the building-scape and architecture. Also, the exact matching green jumper and decor was purely accidental.

Fashion forward or fashion victim? I think the latter. Now if only I could get the winning lotto numbers.

What I’ve found myself doing in the smaller towns I’ve been at, is imagining what my life would be life if I were to move there. It’s a game to me, thinking whether I could survive or not in the a small community. Would the sea change of nature and quaint setting be enough? Or would I tear my hair out at the limited things to do? So far, Port Fairy is taking my fancy.

Another thing, this trip so far has reaffirmed my lack of affection for snakes. While not on a phobia level, I would really rather not sight one even if I may hear them in the bushes. Sometimes my mind gets the better of me and I am overly cautious when traversing grassy terrain or overgrown vegetation. In actuality, they could be lurking anywhere like the Flat Rocks. I need to work on that fear and improve my mind over matter.

Read the first chapter: Hostel Life

Hostel life

By Chris C

On 08/11/2020

In Travel

I’m currently sat on my bed alone in the hostel room, day one into my road trip. Waiting to know who I was sharing the room with. I know I know, I took a gamble but that’s hostel life in general. I’ll find out if that gamble paid off or if the house (or COVID) won.

Where am I going? Wherever the road takes me. Poetic, yet pompous. Actually I have a rough idea of where I’m headed. What I end up doing is yet to be determined.

Thoughts for 28/10/2020

By Chris C

On 31/10/2020

In Personal, Thoughts

Dear Dairy,

A sigh of relief for us all. These are my thoughts for 28/10/2020. It is a day to remember. Even more so for metropolitan Melbourne having to endure the media named “harshest lock down in the world” or words stretching to that effect. Quite dramatic. But when is news media ever not?

Fitbit Inspire 2 Review: Starting Again

By Chris C

On 24/10/2020

In Lifestyle, Review

Like many things in life, things come and go. What’s old is new again. With a renewed focus on creating better habits, I wanted something that would log my activities. In particular sleep and hikes. Step per hour, day to day cardio and burn minutes etc don’t interest me. I’ve intentionally avoided the word ‘healthy’ as for me, that is not the main motivator. It is true that health is being capitalised by many looking to market things for us to buy or invest in. At risk of sounding like a cut away from a Law and Order episode, this is about the new Fitbit Inspire 2 and this is my story.

Fake Smiles

By Chris C

On 17/10/2020

In Personal, Thoughts, Work

I’m mainly a private person (yes even with a blog). I normally don’t care to divulge excessive personal information to others I’ve just met or in the professional realm. I commend how some have the guts to be much more black and white. They can tell it like it is and not care or fear how their views may be received. I find myself quite often passing off fake smiles just to get through my work day.

Why do I find myself doing that? Is it the fear of not wanting to rock the boat and diminish my chances of succeeding well within the corporate structure? Possibly. Success comes from playing the corporate game well. And there is the expectance of always-on-positivity. But in all honesty, it boils down to one of the following:

Lack of interest

Be it a topic, a task or a point of view. The honest truth is sometimes I just don’t care. I really don’t. Not everyone has the same level of interest or need to voluntarily point out their views publicly. I believe it’s unrealistic for everyone to have an opinion or care about every topic that comes their way. Not only that our brains are processing so many stimuli per second, but our lives are so busy with thought to much more important things (ie: a pandemic), there is bound to be collateral.

Disagreement

Ties in neatly with the first one. You know when someone presents something so far off base that you feel a strong sense of disagreement only that it’s futile to express that as you know you cannot convince them otherwise? Guess what? Any feeling of anger or scorn melts away only to be replaced by a fake smile.

Coping mechanism

Wow, another meeting. Shocker. Fake smile and nod at the camera.

Sometimes I just don’t feel great. Or I just want to get on with my day. Is that too tall of an order? Mind you I do not have the patience of a saint, many will attest to that. Being forced to contribute or compulsorily attend voluntary meetings are not my past times.

I may have mentioned before that there is no shame in work not being your life. I work to live, not live to work and so should you. Work is a means to fund your life. Provided you do the work to the standards, is that so wrong? This isn’t my forever career. I’m not expecting to be chummy or make wise cracks with every person I interact with. If it’s an organic manifestation then sure. But it’s easy to spot disingenuous connects under the guise of fostering workplace culture.

So I get through the day doing what I’m required. Less interactions means less questions resulting in less involvement which is perfect for my ever thinning patience levels.

Coping with fake smiles is like being a palm tree. As in, go with the flow. Sometimes it’s just easier to deal with people on that level of superficial.

Office Lingo Bingo

By Chris C

On 10/10/2020

In Humour, Work

It’s Friday, and even its unmotivated. I’m sitting in front of the computer and partaking in another virtual meeting. Trying to amuse myself, my mind is parsing through all the words that are being said. Like machine learning only I’m filtering key phrases and tallying how often they come up. It’s my version of office lingo bingo.

Virtual Gin Tasting

By Chris C

On 03/10/2020

In Food, Fun, Uncategorized

Where social distancing is now a thing, meeting up needs to get creative. You can’t just spontaneously take a trip to somewhere, anywhere really. So how to spice up a social event? None other than a virtual gin tasting of course. I first heard about this during a video catch up on a Saturday night. Two drinks in and everything seemed like a good idea.

Now I’m partial to a good gin. Something about the botanical, herbal smells is both vibrant and reassuring. There seem to be many gins, brands and distilleries popping up so I must be on something trendy. Not being able to set foot in a distillery meant no opportunity to soak in the atmosphere and wake the senses. Oh well, you have to take what you can get these days.

So I parted with $50 and through the magic of AusPost and 110 kilometres, my package arrived 3 weeks later. It took immense strength to not open the little vials of gin and taste them right then and there. We found this virtual tasting as an ‘experience’ sold through Red Balloon.

Tiny Bears Distillery supplied 4 vials of varying gins, a vial of coffee liqueur, two bottles of tonic and garnishes. All I needed was the ice and glasses. Tiny Bears is a gin distillery founded in 2017 and set up in Melbourne.

Tasting night came. We were guided through each gin, its profile and the backstory of how the gin is produced at the distillery. We had the videos up and watched them at the same time. Of course it can’t replace an in person gin tasting but technology allowed each of us follow along in real time and voice our comments as we went along.

So in order of the tasting:

The Doctor 42% ABV
The Gypsy 42% ABV
Barrel Aged Gypsy 46% ABV
The Sailor 58% ABV
Brew Coffee Liqueur 22% ABV

After the tour there were cocktail making tutorials which we also followed for a dry martini. Of course I had vermouth on hand. Of course.

The Doctor was my personal favourite of the bunch. It had a gutsy herbaceous hit that wasn’t too warm or sweet. However, The Sailor came a close second with its pale blue tint, glossy appearance and slight oily mouth feel. The former would be more of my ‘everyday’ gin and the latter being a special gin. While I would never consider drinking them straight unless for the purposes of a tasting, all of them were in fact palatable in their pure state.

Let’s just say I was pretty done after the tastings and retired for the evening. Overall it was good fun and a relaxing way to spend a few hours with friends. The package was quite reasonable in terms of the number of gins and the sizes. As a previous sceptic of an online tasting tour, I was quite impressed. But having gone through it, I would definitely recommend as a present or a gin enthusiast. More distilleries or even wine makers should consider doing these mini tasting packs for the masses.

I Detest Cleaning

By Chris C

On 26/09/2020

In Lifestyle

I detest cleaning. I just can’t grasp the concept of enjoying cleaning. Yes I know it eventually needs to be done but my modus operandi is to just let it be. Living through others. I think I’ve applied that this year to many things but interestingly, it’s even extended to cleaning. Since March, there’s been a rapid explosion of ‘Clean with Me’, organisational and productivity videos on YouTube. It’s provided some feel good productivity purpose and motivation in my life while watching them. Only it comes with a sense of shame and inadequacy after viewing them. The feeling of productiveness and being on top of things only lasts however long the videos are and I mellow back to reality after. The dream.

Impostor Syndrome

By Chris C

On 19/09/2020

In Personal, Thoughts

I recently came across the term impostor syndrome. On face value it sounds like pretending to portray someone you’re not – an actor without the title. Close.